Cut to our recent office party, and our HR manager pulls me aside to tell me this former employee is here! Just grabbed a drink, sat down with their former co-workers, and decided to join the fun. Ultimately, we realized that it could be more of an ordeal if we asked them to leave, so we didn't say anything but kept an eye on them. At one point (which I only found out after the fact), they pulled the COO aside and asked them to reconsider the firing decision, which wasn't the COO's decision in the least. Other than that, the fired employee didn't cause a big scene, but did go around to others on staff "to say goodbye," which of course came with a mention that they had been fired.

I feel like we handled it fairly well, but I'd like to know what you would have done in the same situation. It had the potential to be fraught, and I'm mostly just glad it wasn't worse. I'm not really comfortable giving even a neutral reference anymore, as it just seems so far outside professional norms. Is that petty? Should I reach out to them and ask what they were thinking, or just let it go?

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